The Origins of Anaturewalk

Me and my siblings in our backyard post war (Doboj, BiH)

I was born on a hot Summer day in the Balkans - in the midst of a nasty war. When I was one year old, a helicopter flew above our house and dropped a massive stone in the room where I was supposed to be sleeping. My mother always says I was a great sleeper, but that day I fussed and screamed until she lost her marbles and took me to my grandmothers - who lived just a couple of blocks away. Within minutes of us leaving, the air started vibrating and filling with dust, while a loud crash enveloped our ears. Our home was destroyed, but my life was still intact.

The aftermath of war left my country bruised and her people heartbroken. I spent crucial developmental years watching adults mercilessly fight over property, struggle to feed themselves, and sob in agony at the loss of loved ones. Life was dark and people were evil. Gunshots were a common alarm clock, as everybody would immediately wake up and frantically look for safe places to hide. The experiences I lived through at the beginning of my life, drastically shaped the way I looked at the world around me. I was all too familiar with pain and hunger. I lived in a place of scarcity and anger. I grew up knowing the world is a dangerous place and my only purpose was to avoid danger and seek safety.

In order to keep me safe, my parents kept me on what felt like a leash, and I was miserable. I felt trapped in my own hell and didn’t know how to leave. I was not only bored, but felt undeserving of freedom, fun, love, joy, laughter and everything else that comes with being a human.

Then one day, I decided to just walk outside and see what else was out there. I figured I had nothing to lose.

I remember the warm sun kissing the top of my head, like a mother does to a newborn. I didn’t know it then, but this was the first time I deeply felt the love of Mother Nature. It came to me exactly when I needed it most, and after I felt it, I knew I never wanted to live without that feeling.

I kept going outside, even though it was dangerous by society's standards. All children had to stay home and be protected by the wing of their parents. But I’ve been inside of a home that almost killed me. I’ve been around adults who’ve shown me pure evil. I knew I had to trust my gut feeling.

I started straying further from home, only to find that life beyond my depressing caged “safe” life was exquisite.

I played with empty guns, bullets, hammers, cigarette boxes, toys I found in various trash dumps, broken playground structures, cement blocks, and anything else I found on my explorative walks. This was amazing because only boys were allowed to play with this sort of stuff. I felt like I was being led into a secret reality that I wasn’t supposed to be in. It felt exhilarating.

Then I got caught. My parents were furious. Mostly because whenever I left, their anxiety would make them think I stepped on a land mine and died. They tried everything to stop me. They used excessive force, and when that didn’t work they advised every neighbor in our village to grab me when they saw me walking around by myself.

This didn’t stop me. This in fact, accelerated my love for adventure as I quickly learned to climb trees in order to get away from the adults who wanted to capture me and bring me back to that awful way of living.

While spending time in trees, I got more acquainted with Mother Nature. Here I discovered my love for heights, plants, birds, good views, insects, clouds, getting dirty and climbing. I started spending more time in forests and open fields. I was surrounded by different wildlife which made my heart sing with empathy. I was constantly learning about new plants and picking flowers- which grew my curiosity for smell and color. The fresh air revitalized my lungs and the dirt beneath my toes made me feel connected to something much bigger than anything I had ever known before. Every tree I climbed made me feel stronger. I became resilient, and outside pain rarely affected me anymore. Life became fun and exciting.

When I was 7 years old, I immigrated to the United States. I had to learn a whole new language and adjust to a completely new culture and lifestyle. When I was 17 years old, I left my midwest hometown and moved to California where I resided for a decade. This is where I learned to heal through the help of the beautiful ocean, incredible art, music, different people, various jobs and desire for an extraordinary life. When I was 27, Covid hit San Francisco pretty hard and I was trapped in the digital world. Once again stuck inside of my home, unable to go outside because it was unsafe. I felt my soul crush from the excessive use of technology and social media scrolling.

So I packed my whole life in a suitcase and solo traveled through Europe- once again embarking on an adventure that both excited and terrified me. I learned to navigate huge cities like Paris, Prague, Munich and Istanbul. I learned how to stay safe as a woman traveling on her own. I felt magic while exploring the castles of Budapest. I learned not to carry a wallet full of cash while venturing the dark streets of Amsterdam. I felt Ljubljanas soulful nightlife. I cried at the sight of the Austrian Alps. I jumped into the crystal clear waters of Montenegro. I got really good at booking flights and utilizing long layovers. I observed the hospitable people of Antalya during the month of Ramadan and reveled in their amazing mediterranean food. I talked to strangers who inspired me with both heartbreaking and heartwarming stories. I connected with people who will be close to my heart forever. I learned to ask for help. I overcame my introverted tendencies and learned how to use them as a power rather than allowing them to hold me back from connecting with others. I learned the importance of nutritious food and exercise while on the road. I enjoyed lounging at beach clubs while eating fruit and drinking cold smoothies under the hot sun.

Then of course, I explored the Balkans, but this time as a powerful and healed adult. There are no words to describe the feelings I felt during this time- other than that my inner child felt the love she needed to feel all along. These journeys all shaped me into the person who feels lucky to be living this electrifying life. I am grateful for these experiences and humbled by the new beginnings I struggled with.

If I had never decided to change the way I was living, I would have forever been stuck in misery.

I've discovered that depending how you look at it, life can either be a series of struggles or adventures. We just have to know how to turn obstacles into opportunities so that we can grow the life we really crave. The struggles I've faced and the life I've created out of them show me that life is waiting for all of us to mold it into exactly what we want.

I want to live in a world where more people see life this way, and I want to help guide them through it - because everyone who seeks excitement from life deserves to be supported.

Adventure makes my heart dance - it’s how I know I’m living an extraordinary life.