Sausalito Heals Tantrums

While I was a nanny in California, there was nothing more I dreaded than staying indoors with a screaming toddler. Our moods depended solely on each other, and let me tell you... when you cram two bored humans inside of a small San Francisco apartment, we have no choice but to express our frustrations at each other.

This made both of our lives miserable!

I tried utilizing the playground to help burn energy. I quickly learned that while the playground is a wonderful place where children can interact and learn social cues, it isn't enough to feed a child's craving for curiosity, nor can they get all of their energy out inside an enclosed space.

To add to our frustration, whenever we came home from the playground, my kiddo was still as spazzy as ever. Maybe even more so than before. Those of us who have ever taken care of extroverted children know that social stimulation actually feeds their energy and they get even more excited.

The hyperactivity and screaming in my face out of frustration was driving me bananas, and I felt really badly that I couldn’t help uncover the source of my child’s tantrums. It didn’t feel right letting her spend her childhood in misery.

Not only was she frustrated, I was ready to lose my marbles.

I realized I needed an adventure out in nature to calm my nerves, and I needed it NOW. I wanted to go on a ferry ride to Sausalito, and I decided to take my tantrum toddler with me. It was a far stretch. I doubted my abilities to keep her still on public transportation. I didn’t know where she would take her nap. I had no idea where I would feed her. I doubted my willingness to even bring her with me. But my mental health was deteriorating. Staying in a loud crowded city and bringing her home to listen to her scream, was not an option anymore.

• I packed her bag with a change of clothes

• loaded up her diaper bag

• stuffed fruits, veggies and sandwiches in her tupperware

• made her a yummy smoothie

• made sure we had plenty of sunscreen and water

• and dressed her for the sunny weather

She fussed as I got her ready, kicked as I put on her shoes and refused to leave her place of comfort. This was the everyday routine.

The bus ride was awful. She would not stay still. She pointed at strangers and made loud noises. I was so exhausted already and it wasn’t even noon. We were so close to the ferry building. We had three more stops left. I kept telling myself it would be over soon and we will be looking at the ocean in no time.

Then she did what any toddler with an open smoothie pouch will do. She squirted it all over my shirt, hair and window of the bus- threw herself on the dirty floor and started a tantrum.

Everyone stared at us as I tried to find a napkin and pull her up from the dirty floor.

I wanted to melt into my seat and cry.

Emotions of anger, sadness and histeria flooded through my body. I was ready to quit my job and vow to never have kids. I felt defeated.

I wiped the window with a baby wipe, picked her up and walked out of the bus.

Then a sudden breeze of ocean air blew in my face like an unexpected kiss. I let the ocean air caress my dirty smoothie hair while we walked toward the ferry. I noticed people staring at my mess of a life but didn't mind as I knew when I stepped off the ferry, we would be somewhere beautiful.

While I sat on the boat, I held my toddler firmly on my lap. I was ready for her to jump around and make a mess. I was plotting plans of how I would clean up after her, and what I would do if she ran toward the edge.

But then I noticed something eerily strange. She was actually calm. She was gazing at the water and humming. She held my hand tightly as if to say sorry for the drama earlier.

To my surprise when we stepped off the boat, she stayed even calmer.

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT.

But I kind of could. Watching her gaze in awe at all of the beautiful scenery in Sausalito reminded me of how it felt when I encountered the experience for the first time.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Sausalito, it’s a heaven on Earth hugged by the ocean all around.

We spent the entire day sightseeing, smelling flowers and trees, giggling at the seagulls and seals. Then she helped me clean up the rest of my smoothie hair.

We had lunch on the grass as we watched boats and people pass by. We played with clovers and other plants. We read books and ran around the open space, climbing rocks and jumping around like bunnies. Then she laid on my lap and KNOCKED OUT. She slept for three hours that day.

All of these new smells, new views, new ways of moving exhausted her. I got to spend three whole hours in silence, taking in all that Sausalito has to offer and recharging for the next four hours we had together.

I wanted to cry, but this time it was an overwhelm of joy. Not only did I finally get out of the city and into open nature space, but I got to share it with someone I deeply cared for.

A few hours ago, I wanted to break things out of frustration. Now, I’m enjoying the most perfect view and loving every second of life.

We ended up going to Sausalito every week. Then, venturing to different open spaces became the norm. We embarked on so many adventures together. We experienced so much beauty and learned so much about the world together, like two happy campers. Sure we butted heads from time to time, but my girl's entire attitude shifted from tantrum queen to peaceful princess.

I was able to watch her grow into a smart, healthy and curious child during our nature adventures. And to think, if the initial adventure never happened, who knows where our mental health would be right now.

The biggest lesson I learned from working with children was to take the screaming and bad behavior as a cry for help. Usually the antidote to tantrums is as simple as an adventure in an open space.